I will give my kitty some extra smushy salmon treats because she is the only spooky child I care about, and then I will eat ALL THE CHOCOLATES MYSELF MWA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAA!!!!! I got some Lindt and Godiva truffles because I ain't even trying to fool anybody. » 10/31/14 3:01pm Yesterday 3:01pm

I want a donut. But I do not want to go find a donut. But I really want a donut. I would like to make an appeal to the Magical Donut Fairy for a box of totally calorie-free delicious regular type and seasonal donuts which I might snarf like the pig I am, in honor of the candy-hoarding pigfest we all miss from our… » 10/30/14 3:06pm Thursday 3:06pm

I have this question that rattles through my brain quite a lot lately - do people not write things down anymore? Has the whole smartphone thing led to a nationwide dearth of actual physical writing implements with which to keep up with information, combined with a vast culturally ingrained inability to keep up with… » 10/30/14 10:54am Thursday 10:54am

I will probably be watching movies and being my lame self and likely ignoring anyone who knocks on my door because they usually don't. Also, I suppose I'll have to go out in the morning and see if any little bastards egged the cars. THANKS BIEBER YOU DOUCHEBAG. » 10/30/14 10:29am Thursday 10:29am